Somewhere Out There
by greyslostwho
Summary: B&B, family, tragedy. Can't really summarise without spoiling. Loosely based on one of my english lit texts. An idea that would not go away during class. Please R&R!


**SOMEWHERE OUT THERE**

**B&B. Tragedy, character death. Don't want to spoil it with summary. I wrote this remembering fic for Rememberance Day, which a few weeks ago, but didn't have time to post it until now.**

**Cowritten by my friend Lou.**

The little girl watched her mother outline her eyes with dark and longed for the day when she would be big enough to wear make up just like her. She chewed on her lip as she watched her mother's hand shake slightly as she finished off her left eye. Then her mother turned to look at her and little girl wanted to laugh because her mother had one eye done up all dark and smoky and the other eye was bare, so you could only see the dark grey that stared out from inside it. But she didn't laugh. She didn't even smile. She just turned her attention back to her colouring so her mother wouldn't even know she was looking at her.

She was drawing a house. A big white house, like the one she used to live in. She drew two rows of flowers, one pink, one blue, in front of the house. And then in the garden she drew four people. A man, with dark brown hair, holding on to the hand of a woman who was almost as tall. She hadn't had the right colour for the woman's hair in her crayons, so she'd had to settle for brown. But it was deeper than that. On the other side the man was holding hands with a tall boy with blonde hair. He had a big smile on his face, and he was holding the hand of a little girl with dark hair, barely as tall as the flowers. The little girl had a sad face, not because she was sad, but because that was what she had felt by the time she got to drawing the little girl.

"What's that, Holly?" her mother said, and the little girl held up the picture to show her, her eyes bright, longing for her mother's approval. Now her mother had both eyes done, and she looked beautiful. The little girl had wished she looked like her mother for as long as she could remember. But all people would always say was how much she looked like her father. Which was silly, because she couldn't look like a man.

Her mother's grey eyes were bright as the marbles she's played with her half brother at Christmas as she looked at the picture. And then she smiled and patted the little girl on the head affectionately.  
"It's brilliant, Holly. You're getting to be quite the artist. Do you want to take it to see Auntie Angela?"  
The little girl's heart leapt. "Am I going to Auntie Angela's?" she lisped. Her mother nodded sadly.  
"Yes. Just for a few hours, and then Mommy will come and take you home again.  
"Ok." the little girl said, and took the picture off her mother. "Will Uncle Jack and Tommy and Carla be there"  
Her mother nodded, and then rubbed her eyes. The little girl wanted to tell her to stop that, or she'd smudge the makeup. But she said nothing. She took the picture and walked out of the room.

Her mother passed her her coat and did all the buttons up, because it was november and it was cold. Then she helped her put her gloves on and tucked a little pink hat over her ears. The little girl fixed the feel of her mother's soft hands in her memory.

They drove up in their car to Auntie Angela's house. Auntie Angela lived in a big house with tall gates that shined a gold colour. She remembered her mother telling her what they were really made of, but she couldn't remember the word. Auntie Angela and Uncle Jack had two big and shiny cars, and they had three bedrooms that no one slept in. She didn't understand why they needed bedrooms no one slept in, but she was glad they did. Because sometimes when she came to stay and Tommy was snoring she crept into the next door bedroom to sleep.

Her mother unfastened her seatbelt and she hopped out of the car, still clutching her drawing in her right hand. She skipped to the big black door and knocked on the big shiny knocker three times. Uncle Jack answered the door. He had a big smile on his face, but his eyes were dull. He looked at her mother for a moment and then waved a hand for them to come in. They walked in, and then Auntie Angela came round the doorway, Tommy and Carla trailing behind. She gave the little girl's mother a hug and kissed her on the cheek. Then she lifted the little girl off the floor and gave her a huge hug. The little girl smiled. She loved Auntie Angela. She smelt nice, of chalk and perfume and shampoo and she was - warmer - than her mother.

"Are you ok, Tempe?" Auntie Angela said to her mother, "You sure you want to go on your own"  
The little girl's mother only nodded, and then bent down and kissed the little girl on the forehead.  
"Be good, Holly." she said, and her voice was hoarse and didn't really sound like her. "I love you"  
The little girl took her mother's face in her two chubby, six year old hands and kissed her on the lips. "Be good, Mommy." she said, and giggled. Her mother didn't giggle back, just nodded at Uncle Jack and turned and left the house, shutting the big black door behind her with a bang. The little girl suddenly wanted to cry, but she didnt because Tommy and Carla were looking at her, and Auntie Angela was holding her tightly. Then Auntie Angela put her down and she followd her into the kitchen, where Tommy and Carla had been sat up at the big wooden kitchen table, feeling the hard wood on their chest, drawing and painting. The little girl waved her picture at Auntie Angela, who took it from her and lifted it up to look at it.

The little girl watched, confused, as her auntie's face whitened and her eyes seemed to sparkle more. Then she took the girl's hand and took her through to the study. On the shelf above Uncle Jack's desk there was a picture the girl had never been tall enough to see before. Auntie Angela took it down and then sat on the big wheely chair that she and Tommy and Carla liked to spin around on, and lifted the girl onto her knee.  
"Who was it you drew, Holly?" Auntie said, and the little girl looked at her and rolled her eyes as if to say, Silly.  
"Mommy and Daddy and Parker and me." she said simply, and that explained it all away. Angela closed her eyes for a second, and the girl wondered if she was going to fall asleep. But then she opened them and wiped her eyes with her hand, leaving a make up smudge on her first finger.  
"Do you know who this is?" she said, and her voice sounded thicker than it usually did.  
She looked at the photo. It was of five people, smiling at the camera with all their arms round each other's shoulders. On the end she could see Uncle Jack, then Auntie Angela with a huge fat tummy and then her Mommy. Next to her Mommy was a tall man with dark brown hair, and a big smile on his face. He had his face slightly inclined towards her mother, and his eyes were dark and shining. Her mother had her face tilted up to his slightly, and her face was shining with something the little girl had never seen there before ... happiness. Suddenly she found it very hard to swallow. She moved her eyes quickly to the last man in the line, her Uncle Zack. She smiled. Uncle Zack was fun. He let her play horsey on his back.

But Auntie Angela asked her again. "Do you know who this is?" she said, and this time she pointed to the man next to her mother. The little girl looked hard at her mother, smiling and her eyes were full of love. Love that she only got to see an echo of. And suddenly she wished she could step into this photo and be with her mother right there. But even she knew that you couldn't do that.  
"Is it my daddy?" she said in a tiny voice, her little body shaking with the thought of it.  
Auntie Angela nodded. For a moment neither of them said anything.  
"See, he doesn't look like me." the little girl said, and Auntie gave a little laugh and pulled the girl towards her, clutching her to her chest. For a while the girl stayed still, because she loved Auntie Angela and suddenly she felt sad. But eventually she sat up and looked at her, straight in the eyes.  
"Has my Mommy gone to see Daddy?" she asked solemnly, and Auntie shook her head sadly. And then nodded. It was like she couldn't make up her mind.  
"Sort of." she said.

That was enough answer for the little girl. She hopped down from her Auntie's knee and took the picture from her.  
"Will you put this up, Auntie?" she said, waving the picture at her.  
Angela looked at her for a moment. "I think you should give it to Mommy, Holly. I think she would like it"  
The little girl shrugged. "She never wants my pictures. She always tells me to give them to you"  
Auntie Angela sighed and took the picture out of the little girl's hand. Then she smiled, but it didnt reach her eyes. "I'll put it up, Holly." she said, "Now, go and find Tommy and Carla."

The little girl skipped off down the long corridor and into the toyroom.

It was much later when she heard the doorbell ring. She would have run to answer it but she was playing hide and seek and if she moved Carla would catch her. So she stayed still and didn't move a muscle. She was hiding under the couch in the toyroom, pushed up against the living room door. She heard people enter the living room. Someone was crying softly. Then she heard Auntie Angela's voice.  
"It's ok, Tempe, it's ok"  
She heard a strangled sob. "Shhhh, it's all right"  
And then she heard her mother's voice, low and gentle. "It was supposed to get better..." Sniff. "It was supposed to hurt a bit less every day... that's what he said"  
"I know, I know." Angela said.  
"I try to stop thinking about it...I try to think about what he said, about dating again and finding someone else to love... but I can't"  
Angela sighed. The little girl felt suddenly very small.  
"I read the letter he left with his colonel almost every night before I go to bed, and I've known it off by heart for years, Ange. And his last lines are: I...I want more than anything for you to be happy, Bones. And the baby. I love you both so much. You have to move on, push me to the back of your mind. All I ask is that you remember me a little. I love you, Temperance, have forever and always will. Yours, Seeley Booth"  
A shuddering sob shocked the little girl. She didn't fully understand why, but she felt a tear leak out from under her eyelid.

"He would have loved Holly so much." her mother said, and then Auntie Angela spoke again.  
"About Holly, Tempe... you need to let yourself get closer to her. She doesn't know you like a daughter should. You need to let her in more, and whilst she's young. You'll only regret it if you don't"  
Her mother sighed. "I know. And I try. And I love her so much it scares me. But every time I look at her, I... I see him..." her voice dropped to a whisper as if she were whispering a secret. "She drew the four of you again." Angela said softly. "It's not healthy for her to never see pictures of him. I want you to put it up at home this time, Bren"  
There was a silence and somehow the little girl knew this was the turning point.  
"Ok." her mother said softly. She heard Auntie Angela's sigh of relief. Then her mother spoke again. "I'm taking Parker to the grave this evening. Shall I take Holly"  
This time it was Angela that let out a sob. The little girl didn't know what a grave was, but she thought her Daddy might be there, so she wanted to find out.  
"I'll call her." Angela said. "Holly!"

She climbed out from under the couch and walked down the corridor.  
"Caught you!" Carla said, and tagged her. But Holly kept walking she went into the living room and looked at her Mommy, eyes wet. And she saw that expression in her mother's eyes that was reserved for old pictures and dreams. And she ran into her arms.

Temperance and Holly were crying together, clinging to each other and Angela was watching, smiling. "That picture you did earlier, Holly? Can I put it up in the kitchen"  
The little girl beamed all over. "Yes, Mommy." she lisped.  
"Would you...would you like to go and see Daddy with me?" Temperance asked.  
Holly nodded solemnly.

XXX

Parker opened his door and they both slid out the same side. He took her hand and they followed her mother across the grass towards an open field, littered with upright grey stones, all in rows. Then her mother stopped in front of one of them and Parker held her back, just for a second. And then they walked forward.  
"Holly, your Daddy's in heaven now." her mother said, "But this is where we can come to talk to him"  
There was a tall grey headstone with the words:

**PRIVATE SEELEY BOOTH 1972 - 2009**

**Aged 37 **

**Beloved friend, beloved husband, beloved father.**

**Until we meet again...**

"Daddy." the little girl whispered and knelt down beside Parker.  
"Look up." her brother whispered, "He's up there"  
And the little girl looked up into the sun until her eyes hurt.

Brennan watched them from where she stood, and then her eyes fell to Booth's grave, and the words: 'Until we meet again'  
She wanted Holly to believe that her Daddy was in heaven, even if she couldn't. And, anyway, somehow she was beginning to think that it was impossible for two people who loved each other so much to be severed forever. Maybe there would be some form of contact again one day, maybe he was out there somewhere.

Somewhere out there, Booth smiled.

**Sorry it's sad but sometimes these things have to be written and I hope that as well as being sad it was a little bit happy as well.**


End file.
